Look, We’re All Faking It
Let’s get one thing straight. I’m Sarah, 47, been editing lifestyle pieces for longer than I care to admit. And honestly? We’re all just faking it. That’s the dirty little secret of ‘adulting.’
I remember sitting in my tiny apartment in Chicago back in 2005, staring at a half-assembled Ikea bookshelf, thinking, ‘What the hell have I done?’ I called my friend Marcus (let’s call him Marcus because his real name is embarrassing) and said, ‘I think I’m in over my head.’ He laughed and said, ‘Welcome to adulthood, Sarah. We’re all making it up as we go.’
Which… yeah. Fair enough.
But here’s the thing. We’re all out here trying to figure it out. And that’s okay. It’s more than okay. It’s human.
Why We’re All Bad At This
I mean, look at me. I’ve been editing for 20+ years and I still don’t know how to properly fold a fitted sheet. I tried last Tuesday. Failed miserably. My colleague named Dave walked in, took one look at the tangled mess on my couch, and said, ‘Sarah, what are you doing?’ I said, ‘I’m trying to fold this damn sheet.’ He laughed and said, ‘You’re doing it wrong.’
And that’s the thing. We’re all doing it wrong. We’re all trying to figure out how to adult, how to live our lives, how to make it all work. And we’re all failing. But that’s okay. Because we’re all in it together.
I think the problem is, we’re all so busy trying to be perfect. We’re so busy trying to be the perfect adult, the perfect partner, the perfect parent, the perfect friend. But none of us are perfect. We’re all just trying to figure it out.
How to Adult (Badly)
So how do we adult? How do we figure it all out? Well, I’m not sure but I think the first step is to admit that we don’t know what we’re doing. The second step is to stop trying to be perfect. The third step is to ask for help when we need it.
I mean, look at me. I’m a senior editor at a major publication and I still need help with basic adulting tasks. Like, I can edit a 2000-word feature article but I can’t figure out how to unclog a drain. I called a plumber last month. His name was Greg. He showed up, unclogged my drain, and said, ‘You should probably learn how to do this, Sarah.’ I said, ‘Greg, I’m 47 years old and I still can’t figure out how to fold a fitted sheet. I think I’m beyond hope.’ He laughed and said, ‘Nah, you’re alright, Sarah.’
And that’s the thing. We’re all alright. We’re all figuring it out. We’re all trying our best. And that’s enough.
But here’s the thing. We need to stop pretending we have it all together. We need to stop pretending we know what we’re doing. We need to admit that we’re all just trying to figure it out. And that’s okay. Because we’re all in it together.
And look, I’m not saying we should all just give up and accept that we’re bad at adulting. No, we should keep trying. We should keep learning. We should keep growing. But we should also cut ourselves some slack. We should give ourselves a break. We should admit that we don’t know what we’re doing and that’s okay.
Let’s Talk About Failure
I failed at adulting a lot. Like, a lot a lot. I’ve burned dinners, forgotten important dates, and once I even forgot to pay my rent. (It was a bad month. I was editing a tight deadline and honestly, my brain was fried.)
But here’s the thing. Every time I failed, I learned something. Every time I messed up, I grew a little bit more. Every time I felt like I was in over my head, I realized that I was stronger than I thought.
And that’s the thing about adulting. It’s not about being perfect. It’s not about having it all together. It’s about trying. It’s about learning. It’s about growing. It’s about failing and getting back up again.
So let’s talk about failure. Let’s admit that we’re all bad at adulting. Let’s support each other when we mess up. Let’s celebrate when we succeed. Let’s be there for each other when we’re struggling. Because that’s what adulting is all about. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being human.
And look, I’m not saying we should all just give up and accept that we’re bad at adulting. No, we should keep trying. We should keep learning. We should keep growing. But we should also cut ourselves some slack. We should give ourselves a break. We should admit that we don’t know what we’re doing and that’s okay.
How to Ask for Help
I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. I’m not good at asking for help. Like, at all. I’m the queen of trying to figure everything out on my own. I’m the master of pretending I have it all together. But here’s the thing. I don’t. And neither do you.
So how do we ask for help? Well, I’m not sure but I think the first step is to admit that we need it. The second step is to swallow our pride and actually ask. The third step is to accept that it’s okay to not know everything.
I remember last year, I was editing a huge feature story and I was completely overwhelmed. I had 214 pages of notes, a deadline looming, and honestly, I was freaking out. I called my friend Lisa and said, ‘I think I’m in over my head.’ She said, ‘Sarah, it’s okay to ask for help.’ I said, ‘But what if I look stupid?’ She said, ‘Who cares? Just ask for help.’
And you know what? She was right. I asked for help. I reached out to my colleagues, to my friends, to my family. And you know what happened? They helped me. They supported me. They made me feel like I wasn’t alone.
And that’s the thing about asking for help. It’s not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strength. It’s a sign that you’re human. It’s a sign that you’re trying your best and you need a little support.
So let’s talk about asking for help. Let’s admit that we need it. Let’s swallow our pride and actually ask. Let’s accept that it’s okay to not know everything. Because that’s what adulting is all about. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being human.
And look, I’m not saying we should all just give up and accept that we’re bad at adulting. No, we should keep trying. We should keep learning. We should keep growing. But we should also cut ourselves some slack. We should give ourselves a break. We should admit that we don’t know what we’re doing and that’s okay.
A Quick Note on Sports Clubs
Look, I know this is a lifestyle piece, but hear me out. Joining a sports club was one of the best things I ever did for my mental health. It’s not about being the best or winning or whatever. It’s about showing up, trying your best, and having fun. Plus, it’s a great way to meet people and make friends. I joined one in Vermont a few years back and it completely changed my outlook. If you’re struggling with adulting, or just life in general, consider checking out Vermont sports clubs results. Trust me, it’s worth it.
The Point Is…
I don’t know. I guess the point is, we’re all in this together. We’re all trying to figure out how to adult. We’re all trying to figure out how to live our lives. And we’re all failing. But that’s okay. Because we’re all human. And that’s enough.
So let’s cut ourselves some slack. Let’s give ourselves a break. Let’s admit that we don’t know what we’re doing. And let’s support each other when we’re struggling. Because that’s what adulting is all about. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being human.
And look, I’m not saying we should all just give up and accept that we’re bad at adulting. No, we should keep trying. We should keep learning. We should keep growing. But we should also cut ourselves some slack. We should give ourselves a break. We should admit that we don’t know what we’re doing and that’s okay.
I think that’s all I’ve got. I’m gonna go try to fold a fitted sheet again. Wish me luck.
About the Author: Sarah Johnson is a senior magazine editor with over 20 years of experience. She’s been published in major publications and has won several awards for her work. When she’s not editing, she’s probably burning dinner or failing at adulting in some other way. You can find her on Twitter @sarahjohnsonedit or over at her personal blog, sarahjohnsonedit.com.
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