I’m 42 and I Still Don’t Know What I’m Doing
Look, I’m gonna be honest with you. I’ve been editing magazines for over 20 years, I’ve got a great job, a nice apartment, and a cat that’s basically my emotional support animal. But if you asked me if I have my life together, I’d probably laugh so hard I’d fall off my chair.
It’s not that I’m some kind of failure. I mean, I’m not. I’ve got a good job, a decent savings account, and I can cook a mean lasagna. But there are days when I look around my apartment and think, “How did it get this messy?” And I’m not just talking about the physical mess. I’m talking about the existential mess. The “I’m 42 and I still don’t know what I’m doing” mess.
I think we’re all just making it up as we go along. We’re all just trying to figure out how to adult. And honestly? It’s a mess. It’s a beautiful, wonderful, terrifying mess.
The Great Bedroom Debate of 2018
Let me tell you about the time I tried to adult really hard. It was 2018, and I was dating this guy, let’s call him Marcus. Marcus was a big believer in “adulting.” He had a spreadsheet for his budget, he meal prepped on Sundays, he even had a filing system for his emails. I was impressed. I was also intimidated.
So, I decided to adult too. I started with my bedroom. I spent an entire weekend cleaning, organizing, and decluttering. I donated old clothes, I threw out expired makeup, I even alphabetized my books. By Sunday night, my bedroom looked like a page out of a magazine. I was proud of myself. I was an adult.
Then, on Monday morning, I woke up late, rushed to get ready, and left my newly organized bedroom in shambles. By Wednesday, it looked like a tornado had hit it. By Friday, I couldn’t even find my favorite sweater. Marcus came over on Saturday and took one look at my bedroom and said, “What happened?”
I said, “I don’t know. I tried to adult, but it didn’t work.” He said, “Adulting isn’t a one-time thing. It’s a lifestyle.” Which… yeah. Fair enough.
The Illusion of Having It All Together
Here’s the thing about adulting: it’s not about having it all together. It’s about figuring out what “having it all together” even means to you. And honestly, I think that’s the hard part. Because society, our friends, even our family members, they all have these ideas about what it means to be an adult. And those ideas? They’re not always realistic.
Take my friend Sarah, for example. Sarah is 38, she’s a successful lawyer, she’s married with two kids, and she owns her own home. By society’s standards, she’s got it all together. But last Tuesday, over coffee at the place on 5th, she told me she’s terrified she’s failing at adulting. Because her kids are driving her crazy, her marriage is struggling, and she’s pretty sure she’s gonna lose her mind if she has to attend one more PTA meeting.
I told her, “Sarah, you’re a rockstar. You’re a lawyer, you’re a mom, you’re a wife. You’re doing alot. Maybe you’re not doing it perfectly, but who is?” She said, “But I should be doing better. I should be more organized, more patient, more… more adult.” I said, “Sarah, you’re human. Cut yourself some slack.”
The Art of the Imperfect Life
Look, I’m not saying you should embrace chaos and never clean your bedroom again. What I’m saying is that it’s okay if your life isn’t perfect. It’s okay if you’re not perfect. In fact, it’s more than okay. It’s normal. It’s human.
I’m saying that adulting isn’t about having it all together. It’s about figuring out what you want, what you need, and what you’re willing to let go of. It’s about finding a balance between your responsibilities and your sanity. It’s about learning to laugh at yourself when you burn dinner or forget an important meeting or leave your socks all over the living room floor.
And it’s about remembering that it’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to say “I don’t know.” It’s okay to admit that you’re not an expert at adulting. Because none of us are. We’re all just figuring it out as we go along.
So, What’s the Point?
I don’t know. That’s the point. There isn’t one. There’s no grand finale, no big reveal, no “aha” moment where everything suddenly makes sense. There’s just life. And it’s messy. And it’s wonderful. And it’s hard. And it’s beautiful. And it’s yours.
So, embrace the mess. Laugh at the chaos. And for the love of all that is holy, don’t try to alphabetize your books. Life’s too short for that kind of nonsense.
Oh, and if you’re in the market for a new laptop, check out this laptop buying guide comparison. Because even though adulting is messy, having a good laptop doesn’t have to be.
A Tangent About Cats
Speaking of chaos, let’s talk about my cat, Whiskers. Whiskers is a 12-year-old tabby with a attitude problem. He’s also my emotional support animal, my therapist, and my partner in crime. He’s the reason I’m still sane. Well, mostly sane.
Whiskers has this thing he does where he’ll sit on my keyboard while I’m trying to work. It’s like he knows I’m on a deadline, like he can sense my stress. And he just… he sits there. Staring at me. Judging me. It’s annoying. It’s also kinda hilarious. And it’s a reminder that even when life gets messy, even when I feel like I’m failing at adulting, there’s always someone there to remind me to laugh. To remind me that it’s okay to not have it all together.
So, yeah. That’s my take on adulting. It’s messy. It’s wonderful. It’s a journey. And it’s okay if you’re not an expert. Because none of us are. We’re all just figuring it out as we go along.
About the Author: Hi, I’m Lisa. I’m a senior magazine editor with 20+ years of experience. I’m also a cat mom, a lasagna enthusiast, and a self-proclaimed expert at adulting… or not. I live in New York City with my cat, Whiskers, and a collection of mismatched socks. I write about life, love, and the pursuit of the imperfect life. You can find me on Twitter @LisaWritesStuff.
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